Do I Attract Crazy?

I swear that I have a sign on my forehead that says, “Sucker”.  Last month, I had to end a 19 year friendship because of more lies and manipulation.  This one hit me out of no where and the worst part is, she was there for all the shit that went down with my mom.  She helped me through that rough time and could not believe that anyone could do that to another person.  Not even a year later, she managed to do the same thing.  I will warn you this one is going to sound crazy and very over the top but it is real as real can be and I really feel stupid for believing this and allowing this to go on for so long.  So here it goes, again:

I met, who I looked at like a second mother to me, Linda when I was three months pregnant with my daughter in 1998.  She was my Lamaze coach, she was at every family function and I was at every one of hers, she was at most of my daughter’s school functions, she was involved in every detail of planning my wedding, I paid for her “mother of the bride” dress and included her in the “mother’s” flowers.  Like I said, I looked at her like a second mother.

She used to tell me that I was her sane child.  She had six kids of her own and most with their own problems.  Some had problems with drugs, others alcohol, some both.  Most stole from her and she was constantly robbing from Peter to save Paul.  I would always try to help her by making phone calls to help set up payment arrangements or extending due dates, whatever I could do.  She would come here and we would have our movie days, quiet time without all the kids and grand kids running around.  It was a solid relationship, or so I thought.

Last September, we got together at my place for a normal movie day.  Nothing was special about this day, it was a day like any other.  She had a large white bag with her and she told me that she wanted to tell me something but I had to keep it a secret.  The only people I could tell were my husband and daughter.  I was a bit worried because this was very unlike her but I agreed.   I had no idea that what she was going to tell me would eventually destroy our relationship.

She pulls out her bag and the stuff in it and tells me that her adoptive mother’s sister’s son, her cousin, is pretty famous.  She asks again for my word that this will stay between us and me, my husband and my daughter.  I agree but I am confused and baffled.  I have known this woman, for what seems like forever and I am just learning this, I thought I knew everything about her but I allow her to continue.  She hands me a concert program for the Eagles when they played at the PPL center here in the Valley the year prior.  It is signed by the band mates and one of them says, “hey cuz”.  Glenn Frey, she tells me, is her cousin!  I am floored!  I have always loved the Eagles and I just can’t believe this!  I say to her, get out here you are kidding me!  She assures me this is real and that there is more.

Now, most people know that Glenn Frey and Don Henley were like brothers, fighting and all.  She tells me that she had been talking to Glenn about me and my family and some of things that we had been through, including my husband adopting my daughter.  She said that Glenn wanted to discuss this with Don and possibly start a pen pal relationship with us!  Again, I am floored!  Who wouldn’t be?

So, about a month goes by and we start getting letters from Glenn, Glenn’s wife, Cindy, Don Henley and his wife, Sharon.  Glenn had surgery in October and was recovering so she told me that timing was perfect for the writing.  It was like an instant bond between us.  Then my daughter starts getting letters as well from all of them, including Don’s daughter, Kate.  We were told we could ask them any questions we wanted to, off the record.  We came up with over 50 questions and they were answered within two weeks.

My daughter asked if she could make them some jewelry and they said of course.  My daughter spent her own money to pick out things to make them something nice.  She made things for the guys and their wives and Linda shipped it to them.  Keep in mind, everything went through Linda as they did not want us to have their address which we completely understood.  We got thank you letters from them all and Glenn said that his mother was jealous that she didn’t get one.  His response was, “Hey, it’s who you know” which made my daughter laugh.  So, Linda was to go to Walden Woods where Glenn and Cindy were to renew their vows for their 25 wedding anniversary on January 9, 2016.  My daughter made Glenn’s mother a pair of earrings for Linda to take with her and give to her when she saw her there.

Now I asked Linda about flight info because I worry A LOT about people flying.  She did not have any saying that Glenn brother, who lives in the area, had all of that and was picking her up and they were flying out of philly.  I looked and there were no flights with the info that she gave me.  Again, I just shrugged it off thinking it is a world I know nothing about.  When Linda came back, she gave Taylor a hand written thank you card from Glenn’s mother, Nellie, thanking my daughter for the earrings.  I thought is was so nice.  There were many other letters that came back with her from the guys from band.  One of them said they were adopting my daughter as their band mascot.  She was thrilled!  We really felt this bond and were just in awe.  How could these people feel this way about us?  We are nobody’s.

Then, nine days later, I happen to be scrolling through facebook and see five notifications at the same time that broke our hearts.  Glenn Frey died.  (Keeping in mind that we just suffered four losses back to back from August to October that we were still trying to deal with).  I know it sounds silly never meeting the guy but all these letters and things that were said in these letters, we felt a bond there and it was gone.  I called Linda after I composed myself because I wasn’t sure if they would think to call a cousin in the chaos.  She came to the house right away.  My daughter was so upset, she damn near knocked Linda over when she came through door when she went to hug her, she (my daughter) was so upset.

Linda asked me to help her type up a eulogy for the funeral that was going to take place on the 22nd and 23rd in Detroit where Glenn grew up.  I, of course, helped her.  Her and his brother were flying out of our local airport on the 21st and I asked for the info and only got that the flight was leaving around 8pm.  I looked at the airport site and it showed no flights leaving or coming in at all after 6pm.  Nothing at all.  I found that strange but thought why would she lie to me and let it go.

She came home and brought us a white rose from the service that Cindy wanted us to have.  We continued to stay in contact with Cindy, Don, Sharon and Kate through Linda only.  Linda asked me if I could see what people were saying about her late cousin on line.  There were websites out there of celebrities reactions to Glenn’s passing and I got all the info for her.  This is where things starting to take a turn in a very different direction.

Bob Seager and Irving Azoff (the Eagles manager) both said that Glenn was in a coma since his surgery in October and that they had the best specialists working on him trying to get him better and keep him alive.  Things were not adding up.  How can I have letters from someone who was in a coma?  This is not possible.  On top of many other things that she told us that were not adding up either.  One of them being that Don’s “daughter” Kate is adopted and biologically Elton John’s. So, I called her out and gave her an opportunity to tell me the truth in February.  Here is the email that I sent:

Hello.  I am not exactly sure how to say what I need to say so I am going to try to put my words together as best as I can.  As you know, I am an avid researcher and I am always on the computer scanning for different things, hobbies, interests, people, etc.  I have also voiced to you how hard it is for me to believe that we have been talking to such iconic people for the last few months.  Over the last few months, I have read the letters, watched the interviews, listened to the stories with amazement and pride.  However, when I look things up and really think about things, it doesn’t add up.  I have known you for almost 20 years and I love you like family and I have no idea why you would make something like this up but things are not adding up.  I know you are asking yourself what doesn’t add up and what am I questioning.  Here are just a few things that I have questioned:  The turn around time on the replies for the letters, I give you a letter on a certain day and I have replies within 3-5 days.  When I send things to Dave’s mom in TN it takes 3-5 days just to get there if not longer.  I have found, through online interviews, that Don has three biological children two girls and a boy and he was there for each birth.  I showed you a picture of Annabell and asked you who she was and you said you did not know, however that is one of Don’s daughters.  On the board of directors at Walden Woods there is no Kate listed.  When you went to Walden and to Detroit, you told me that you were flying out of ABE direct.  There were no flights leaving at the time that you said that you guys were leaving.  No flights at all after 6pm out of ABE on those days.  Multiple websites show that Glenn and Cindy’s anniversary was actually in August, not January.  Those sites also show that his first wife’s name was Janie not Linda.  I am not sure why he would call Cindy Janie if that was his first wife’s name.  I would not be comfortable with that.  And the fact that Bob and Irv both have stated on multiple reputable websites that Glenn never made it out of surgery in New York.   Robert Lamm has been married four times but none of his wives were named Cathy.  I am at a loss.  I believe, however, that Glenn was a part of your family.  You have the signed copies of things and family pictures and I don’t question that.  I question the stories and the contact between them.  I am sure that the road was filled with good intentions to pull my daughter and I out of a hole and give us something to look forward to and I appreciate that.  Maybe things just got out of hand.  I really don’t know.  I just really need the truth without doubt.  I can’t go on thinking that someone that I hold so close has lied to me and my daughter.  I know that I truly do love you and and my feelings didn’t change when you told me all this.  I just need the truth, please.  Maybe I can try to move past this.  I am not sure.  I will wait to hear from you.  T**** is having problems with her school computer, so she has been using this one throughout the day and my pain levels and headaches have been bad over the last few days.  If you reply or call and I don’t get back to you right away it is because I am either not doing well, laying down or don’t physically have the computer or phone with me.  I hope you can understand my confusion.

This was her reply:

I have not lied to you about Glenn. As for the letters, we have used UPS or FedX. As for flights, those were put together by someone else, so you probably wont find them. When did all this start occurring? What would be my reason for the deception? I don’t have a special agenda for hurting either of you. I cannot answer for other people’s actions, so I don’t feel that anything I say will make this any better. Sure, I could defend myself, but would it really make things any better? I did not lie to either of you. My intentions were to make both of you happy, but if you truly feel I deceived you, I am sorry. I merely stated facts that I was given by the people who made them. Again to try to explain would probably not help, but I swear to you the letters you received from both Glenn and Cindy are real, not fake. Thank you for believing something, but I really don’t know what to say. I am sorry for any confusion, and would appreciate us getting over this. Can we?

I then received a very direct letter from Cindy and an understanding letter Don and Sharon spelling out the details on what happened the day the Glenn passed away and how the media can get away with saying whatever they wanted.  They all said that they really wanted the relationship to continue and I really thought that maybe it was true.  Hell, I wanted to believe it was true because if it wasn’t it would mean that this life long friend lied  and made all this up for nothing.  So we continued to write and went along like everything was fine but something was still not sitting right with me.

I believe it was in March or April that a former bandmate, Randy Meiser, made the news.  His wife was killed in a freak accident.  I was told that Randy’s wife was Cindy’s sister and first thought was OMG poor Cindy first Glenn now her sister.  Linda said no this was just some other woman that he was with after her.  Again nothing I found was adding up to what she was telling me.

Well on my birthday, May 3rd, Linda came over and gave me her gift, a card and a Bon Jovi CD.  Then she had something for me from Don, Cindy and Sharon.  A card and a box.  In this box were two signed copies of Don’s new album Cass County (one for Dave and I and one for our daughter) each with a hand written note in them and then an envelope with tickets to his concert this August at Musikfest!  I damn near died!  I was so excited!!!!!  Don Henley thought enough about me to get me tickets to his show.  Then I read the letter with them that made me think, he apologized that the tickets could not be closer but that is all the venue could give him.  I have never heard of such a thing before in my life.  Now I was thrilled with the tickets just the thought alone but I already had doubt and this just made the doubt worse.

I was in the middle of trying to help Linda save her home by working with her mortgage company by trying to get her a remod so I had her financials here at my house.  I had the tickets here and where they were purchased and I have a legal brain.  I called the placed where the tickets were purchased, asked when and who purchased them and they told me that Linda purchased them on site with cash.  The bank record confirmed an ATM cash withdraw on the same day.  My heart broke.  Then I starting digging hard on the internet about everything she told me about the guys or anything that was in the letters.

I will not get into everything because it would take me hours to write it all down but remember when I said that my daughter got a hand written thank you card from Glenn’s mother, Nellie, for the jewelry?   Well, on top of all the other things that weren’t true like Don not having biological children, Randy Meisner and Don Felder being Glenn’s brother in laws, the bands doctor being a lady named Cathee who was Robert Lamm (lead singer of Chicago) wife, Don’s mother being so sweet at the vow renewal and many, many more stories…..Let me touch base on these first before I hit the one that proved that none of the communications were true from the beginning.  Don does have three biological children two girls and a boy there are pictures of him with his wife while she is pregnant out there on the web.  No links between Cindy and Randy’s late wife.  Don Felder hasn’t been married in a very long time.  Robert Lamm has been married four times and never to a Cathee and never to a doctor.  Don Henley’s mother passed away a few years ago.  Now, on to the nail in the coffin.  Nellie Frey, Glenn’s mother who was jealous of the jewelry and send my daughter a thank you card died years ago!  I could not believe it!!!!

I sent Linda a letter, along with all her belongings that I had here because of the remod that I was helping her with.  I confirmed that she got this letter.  The letter detailed all the misinformation and lies that she told us and me begging for answers.  The hurt is caused us and not understanding why she would do this to us.  She knew everything that we had been through and to allow this to continue is crazy and heartless.  She said that she got everything and that I still had a book of hers.  My husband dropped off the book and she told him that I should expect a letter from her in the mail soon.  I received the letter the next day saying that she is sorry and there is no reason on why she did this that would make sense.  We have no answers.  However, she told her kids, that I haven’t been close to in years, that I am crazy because they changed my meds again and she doesn’t want them talking to me.

I really don’t get it.  Almost 20 years out the window for no reason what so ever.  We had such a great relationship.  She knew everything about me and I thought I did about her.  We shared everything in each other’s lives.  There was no reason for this at all.  Why cause this hurt.  I am finding myself finding it so hard to trust anyone anymore.  First my own mother and now this.  You allow someone in your life for so long and they betray not only you but your family without any explanation.  You are left wondering why and that is an awful thing to be left with.  No reason as to why just gone!  Done! Over! Lied! Shit on you! Why? Who knows.  I haven’t even completely gotten over what my mother has done to us and the loss that we suffered last year and now this with more unanswered questions.  I don’t want all this pain and mistrust to change me but I don’t know how not to let it.

I have been trying to sweep this under the rug for over a month now and it keeps rearing its ugly head.  Not because she is doing anything but because my mind won’t let any of the hurt from my mother, to the loss of my nana, my pop, my aunts, to this alone.  It is like this was the straw that broke me.  How sad is that?  I try to keep telling myself that I have no control over the way others act and I know that I don’t but how did I not see this?  How did I allow this to happen again?  My daughter’s biological father, my mother, now Linda.  All people I allowed to get close to destroy me and my family.  How do I not take the blame for that?  How do I not allow that to happen again when I don’t know how it happened in the first place?  I really need to find this magnet that is somewhere in my body that attracts the crazies and have it removed because I really don’t know if I can handle another heart break like this.  Thank you all for listening and who knows maybe one day there will be a book or a lifetime movie of this life of mine because you really can’t make this shit up!!!!!  Until then, I must just keep on keepin’ on, you all do the same!  Until next time.

 

 

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. lynettedavis · July 10, 2016

    I don’t have any answers but I’m wondering if it’s because we’re too trusting–we believe whatever people tell us until they prove otherwise which, by then, is usually too late.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s